Keeping up appearances

For someone who always struggled with body image and self-esteem issues, keeping up appearances was always a big deal for me. I would put on a smile and act like everything was okay and avoid speaking up about my issues because I thought that the more I didn't address my problems, the more likely it would be that they would just disappear. I would put on this act for others to make myself seem more likable or more "attractive". Turning myself into whatever I think would please them. My close friends would get upset with me saying I wasn't being myself; I was still figuring who I was at that point in my life. I started to question my reasoning for caring so much about what others thought of me. Did it really matter to me that a random person I talked to once in my life connected to me because of a lie? I realized that the only person whose opinion of me that should matter, is my own. I am my own worst enemy and can be so critical of myself, but now I am more secure about who I am and don't bother keeping up appearances. I am happy with who I am now. In times of self doubt when I feel so overwhelmed and judged, I remind myself that many people come and go from my life but I will always have myself. That may sound really morose, but it is true. As long as what I am doing makes me happy and doesn't harm anyone else, then it shouldn't matter to anyone else what I am doing. In the wise words of Dr. Seuss "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."